Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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