Do you still have your period?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
