Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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