Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
