the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
