im gay
i know
yea but for you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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