Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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