its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize