it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
