She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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