he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
