well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
