Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
