She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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