I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
