you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
