So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
