Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
