Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
