we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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