But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
