I hope mine doesn't look like that
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
