I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
