They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
