It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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