Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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