Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
