I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
