i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
