I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This girl is more easily done than said...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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