I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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