I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
