the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made my gag reflex go away.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
