...so i touched it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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