i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
