Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
