suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
