wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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