I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
