i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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