I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
