bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
