you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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