He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
