I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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