YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
