As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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