so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
