How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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