the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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