I wish I could teleport
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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