i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
