how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
