If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
