I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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