I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
