I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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