shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
