WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
