in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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