He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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