I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
