Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
