12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
