Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
