Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
