I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
