Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
