Jerry, you need to find god
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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